People who drain your energy are often referred to as emotional vampires. Here are 5 types of these blood-suckers, and how to repel them.
Just about every culture has a vampire legend. They’re often depicted as demonic, blood-thirsty, immortal night dwellers.
Hollywood versions are more glamorous and seductive: vampires are mysterious and all-powerful creatures that lure unsuspecting victims into their grasp with their charm.
These depictions are fictional. However, vampires do exist, and they are dangerous.
They don’t feed on the blood of humans, and they cannot be repelled by garlic or religious icons.
Real-life vampires feed on your emotional energy, and they do so without regard for your well-being.
While it’s difficult to repel one of these vampires, it is not impossible once you learn to recognize them.
So Who are Emotional Vampires?
Some relationships are happy, positive, and productive. The people involved in them feel safe and secure being themselves and are not afraid to express their emotions.
Other relationships are draining, frustrating, and miserable. It’s often the case when one of the partners is a toxic person or an emotional vampire.
When you’re in a relationship with an emotional vampire, you feel inadequate, unloved, unimportant, and unworthy.
You also feel used. Yet you’re powerless to resist the effect the vampire has on you.
Identifying and Fending Off Emotional Vampires
Emotional vampires are not all the same: their vampirism can take on different forms.
But what they all have in common is that they suck the happiness and the energy out of your life. They’re like walking, talking, human-shaped black holes.
However, there are certain types of emotional vampires that you’re most likely to encounter, and learning to identify them is imperative.
With this knowledge, you can become empowered to combat the vampire’s effects on you.
5 Types of Emotional Vampires (And How to Repel Them)
1. The Pessimist
Sometimes pessimism is justified. You can’t be optimistic all the time! But some people are perpetually pessimistic and negative.
This type of emotional vampire will always find the worst in any situation.
Say: “What a beautiful sunny day!” and they will tell you about the dangers of skin cancer.
Share the news about your engagement, and they will gloomily inform you that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce.
Congratulate them on promotion — and they will complain how stressful their new job is.
The pessimist’s world is dark and hopeless. And if you’re not careful, they’ll suck you into it. So after spending time with them, you may feel depressed, apathetic, and hopeless, too.
Fighting Off Pessimists
All types of emotional vampires feed off the emotions they elicit in you — mostly, negative emotions. They also have an overbearing need for attention and validation.
So when you’re around a person that comes off as an irrational, overly gloomy “negative Nancy,” don’t give them anything. Don’t validate their worldview and don’t sympathize.
Contradict their statement without getting into an argument, then change the topic. To use the previous example about an engagement, you can say:
“It’s true that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. But that means that the other 50 percent are happy. I guess I am hopeful that I’ll be in the second group. Have you seen John lately?”
If it doesn’t work and the pessimist continues their attempts to bring you down, leave.
2. The Dramatist
These people have the ability to turn even the smallest thing into a major drama and do so at the drop of a hat.
They’ll claim they “almost died” in a minor fender bender, or that they’re “deathly ill” if they have a common cold.
To feel alive, they need intense emotions. So they are unwilling or unable to reel in their emotional outbursts.
They also have a knack for pitting people against one another or creating situations that put them in the spotlight.
Overall, they are exhausting to be around because it’s a constant emotional rollercoaster. But dramatists are only vaguely aware of their effect. So they will take up your time, energy, and resources without a thought.
Fighting Off Dramatists
The only way to handle a dramatist is to stay calm.
Never get into a shouting match, act hurt, or demand that they stop their behavior. None of these reactions will stop them from being dramatic. In fact, it will only make the situation worse.
Instead, walk away from the drama whenever possible, and refuse to listen and participate.
For sure, they will continue trying to pull you into their crazy world. But if you don’t react, they will likely take their drama somewhere else.
3. The Victim
Some people walk around believing that they are the victim of everyone else’s actions and that they can never be happy.
They will constantly seek the advice of others, but refuse to listen to it, or follow it. They’re quick to point out why something can’t work for them and how the whole world is against them.
Dealing with someone like this is exhausting and frustrating, to say the least.
Mind you, they’re not necessarily bad people. A lot of their behavior is subconscious. Nonetheless, they act as emotional vampires and will suck you dry if you let them.
Fighting Off Victims
The most important thing to remember when dealing with a victim is that their behavior probably started when they were a child. They may have been mistreated by their parents, teachers, and peers and have never healed from those experiences.
Managing a relationship with a victim requires delicacy. You have to gently set boundaries by redirecting negative conversations before they progress.
Don’t engage in lengthy discussions of their problems. Instead, shift the focus to finding solutions.
If this doesn’t work, make an excuse and leave or change the subject to something more productive and pleasant.
4. The Control Freak
This type of emotional vampire must keep everyone around them in line. They act like a dictator and infringe on your right to be who you are and make your own choices.
That’s because they cannot accept another person’s thoughts, actions, or emotions. So they will do everything in their power to stop the behaviors that are not up to their standards.
They are rigid in their thinking and are unwilling to change. Instead, they expect others to bend to their will.
As parents, they infantilize their children and stifle their free expression as individuals. As spouses or friends, they are jealous, insecure, and distrustful.
Since being controlled and invalidated doesn’t feel good, you often walk away with your emotional energy zapped.
Fighting Off Control Freaks
Fighting a control freak is difficult, especially if the pattern of control has been going on for a long time. However, with courage and determination, it can be done.
Start standing up to them in a respectful but firm way. For example, if a controlling person gives you advice, express your gratitude but also state that you will be doing things your way.
Confidence is key here. Don’t let them impose their views on you or challenge your decisions. The more you stand up to this type of emotional vampire, the less power they have over you.
5. The Narcissist
Narcissists are emotionally damaged people who always presume to be the most important person in the room.
They’re incapable of showing any empathy towards another person and are quick to offer their opinions. In fact, they openly criticize others while touting their own perfection.
If they do not get their way or are disappointed by someone, they become angry, overbearing, punishing, and cold.
Being in the presence of a narcissist leaves you feeling emotionally drained, worthless, and flawed.
Fighting Off Narcissists
Of all types of emotional vampires, the narcissist is probably the most dangerous one. So the best way to fight them off is to avoid them at all costs.
This is easy when you’re dealing with a casual acquaintance. But if you have, say, a narcissistic parent or partner, it is nearly impossible.
If no contact is not an option, there are a few things you can do to diminish their impact on you.
First, never reveal any personal information that can be used as a weapon or means of control.
Secondly, keep in mind that they love to provoke and push your “hot buttons.” So keep an emotional distance from a narcissist. Meaning, don’t take anything they say to heart.
Finally, don’t expect too much from them. Narcissists have severe emotional deficits and cannot function as psychologically adequate human beings.
Final Thoughts on the 5 Types of Emotional Vampires
Every day, we come face-to-face with emotional vampires of different types and strengths, and it is not always possible to avoid them.
For example, one cannot choose their co-workers, business associates, and family.
It is up to you to identify the vampires in your life and work out ways to manage those relationships.
That means adjusting how you interact with the vampire.
You cannot change their behavior, so the only way to defend yourself is to change yours.
In most cases, that involves limiting your exposure to them, creating emotional distance, setting boundaries, and if none of the above works, walking away.
However you approach the issue, it is essential that you don’t just let the vampire “feed” on your emotional energy. They will never get enough and will always be coming back for more.
If you don’t want to be their constant supplier, protect yourself and your emotional well-being. You do not owe anyone the permission to bleed you dry.
NEXT
10 Signs Your Narcissistic Mother is an Emotional Vampire
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