Any profession has “bad apples,” including teachers. Here are 10 signs that your child has a toxic teacher, and what to do about it.

Have you ever had a teacher who went the extra mile and made learning fun? Do you remember running to that teacher’s class, bursting with excitement and giddy with curiosity?

However, you may also have memories of a teacher who was bitter, burned out, or plain mean.

Any profession has bad apples, so it’s not surprising that there are toxic people in the teaching profession, too.

On the other hand, a school can have a hostile culture that breeds toxic teachers.

Whether it’s a “bad apple” or a product of toxic school culture, bad teachers do exist. As much as you don’t want it to happen, there is always a possibility that your kid could end up with a difficult teacher who doesn’t resonate with your child.

Dealing with a problematic teacher or confronting them is never pleasant. However, it is vital to fix the situation as soon as possible because your child’s wellbeing is at stake.

The question is, how do you spot a toxic teacher? They’re not always entirely unprofessional or outright awful. Some students may be able to relate to them and they may even have the support of parents and educators.

In either case, you can confirm your suspicions or your child’s accusations by watching for red flags that can indicate whether or not there is a legitimate problem.

Here are ten signs that can tell you if your child has a toxic teacher.

1. Your child’s diminishing interest in school

Your child may be having negative experiences at school if he or she displays signs of demotivation about learning, or for whatever reason, does not want to go to school.

One of the clearest indicators of a problem is your child’s lack of academic progress. It’s especially obvious if your child once loved school but now drags their feet every morning. The reason could be an uncooperative or abrasive teacher.

2. Your child is constantly nervous or worried

If your child constantly makes excuses to skip school or seems anxious whenever the subject of school comes up, there might be a reason to worry.

Pay attention if your child complains about a teacher but begs you not to report him/her. This means they’re afraid of retaliation from this teacher.

Parents are usually good at judging the changes in mood and behavior of their children. So constant anxiety about school should never be ignored.

3. The teacher displays bad attitude

During conversations with parents and colleagues, toxic teachers may have great ideas but they don’t always welcome other people’s ideas.

Not only that, their input is almost always negative, not offering solutions but rather pointing out problems. For example, they might complain about your child’s poor performance, citing “laziness” or “lack of focus.”

However, they have no helpful suggestions, and they never think that their teaching style might be the problem.

4. The teacher has temper tantrums

There may be a teacher in your child’s classroom who yells and screams at everyone — no matter the situation.

Teachers who lose their cool and go off at students in the classroom are verbally abusing the children. As a result, your child may lose their confidence, start disliking school, become anxious, etc.

Being yelled at, blamed, belittled, bullied, or made a scapegoat by a teacher can do a lot of damage. Even if other parents and school officials are OK with this type of teacher, it doesn’t mean it’s OK.

Sometimes when one parent says something, others will join. So don’t be afraid to be the first one to raise concern.

5. The teacher likes to publicly humiliate students

Truly toxic teachers often publicly humiliate or degrade their students.

For example, they can shame students during presentations or make fun of their names, clothes, or accents. They could even encourage other students to exclude, make fun of or bully a student they don’t like.

Such behavior can have a severe impact on the inner psyche of a child. So much so that they might carry the scars from these wounds for the rest of their lives.

Keep in mind that your child might not always be able to tell you that they’re being humiliated by their teacher. So observe their behavior carefully and note any suspicious changes.

6. The teacher is blaming the parents

When you’re dealing with a toxic teacher, the blame game is a common occurrence. The teacher will berate your child’s grades or behavior while implying or directly telling you that it’s your fault.

Effective teachers work with parents and students to resolve issues as soon as possible. They would rather work with the parents than argue with them.

Toxic teachers, on the other hand, ignore the issue until the situation deteriorates. They don’t want a student’s poor performance to reflect badly on them, so instead, they blame the parents for it.

Remember not to be a toxic parent yourself by blaming or abusing your kids without getting to the core of the problem.

7. The teacher isn’t willing to improve

Effective teachers learn from their students as much as they teach. They discover what works and what does not, and what their strengths and weaknesses are. They bring new ideas to the table when old methods don’t work, or whenever there’s room for improvement.

This attitude of growth allows them to perfect their teaching skills.

Toxic teachers, on the other hand, do nothing to improve themselves, even though that’s what they teach their students.

This is a classic case of “Do as I say, not as I do.”

Remember, teachers play a crucial role in shaping a child’s future – not just in school, but also in other competitive environments. If a teacher acts as if everything they do is correct, and everyone else is the problem, the kids can quickly adopt the same attitude.

8. Your child seems less self-confident

Perhaps, your child started calling themselves “dumb,” “stupid,” or other derogatory words. Or perhaps, they’re saying things like “I can’t do it,” “It’s too hard,” I don’t like [insert subject here].”

Your child may display insecurity when the teaching style they receive in the classroom doesn’t align with the style he or she needs or when the teacher gives overwhelmingly negative feedback.

In that sense, a toxic teacher aggravates learning challenges by not being attentive to children’s needs and not nurturing their self-confidence.

9. The teacher doesn’t believe in the students

Disillusionment refers to the feelings of disappointment that arise when something does not match your expectations.

If the teacher is acting as if they’re disillusioned or disappointed in your child, they’re exhibiting toxic behavior. Because when a teacher doesn’t have faith in a child’s ability to be a successful student, children can sense that, and it can make a lasting impact on them.

As a result, students who are not believed in by their teachers may fail not only in school but also in the real world.

So if the teacher never praises or commends your child for their efforts but sharply criticizes them for every mistake, your child may have a toxic teacher.

10. The teacher is a bully

Although child abuse usually happens in the family, it can also happen in other environments where children spend a lot of their time. Schools are no exception, and teachers are more likely to commit it than anyone else.

Recent research suggests that this trend growing. Teachers can be silent bullies who will target a vulnerable child and pick on them, both publicly and privately.

Unfortunately, like with other types of bullying, children may be hesitant to come forward. Instead, they might start skipping school, claim to be sick, or avoid talking about school altogether.

What can parents do to help their child deal with toxic teachers?

First of all, it’s worth remembering that teachers, like anybody else, are humans and can have a bad day. One bad day doesn’t make them toxic.

A genuinely toxic teacher shows five or more of the above signs regularly. If that’s your child’s teacher, you need to act quickly and decisively to ensure your child doesn’t suffer any long-term consequences. Here are five things that parents can do to help their children.

• Support your child

First, let your child know that you believe them, you take their concerns seriously, and that they have your unwavering support throughout the whole process.

Ask them to pinpoint the cause of their difficulty and what they feel would improve it. Discuss it with them and let them feel important and in control of the situation.

You can also help your child learn some coping methods for dealing with a difficult teacher.

Teachers who can’t teach will often complicate things. It’s unlikely that you can help them become better teachers. But you can help your child become better at dealing with them.

• Avoid speaking negatively about the teacher

Your child is probably very emotional about this situation. You can help your child see the teacher in a more positive light by giving them a more balanced perspective.

Whenever there are problems, it’s essential to address them, but it’s also important to try to see them from a neutral point of perspective. As difficult as it is to put your emotions aside when your child is affected, make a conscious effort to think and act rationally.

Most importantly, don’t call the teacher names or complain about the teacher in front of your child. That will only make the situation worse.

• Talk with the teacher

You may want to schedule a meeting with the teacher to find out what is happening in class if you do not feel that the account provided by your child is complete.

Allow the teacher a chance to respond to what your child has shared with you.

When presenting your child’s words, be careful not to accuse them. There is a possibility that the teacher might have a different explanation. It may not even occur to them how they appear to others.

As a result of hearing how your child feels, he or she may reconsider their behavior and adopt a more productive attitude.

• Observe your child’s class

Parents can often gain a thorough understanding of all the dynamics by watching the class in action. A lot of schools allow parents to observe their children in the class.

If you cannot grasp what’s happening or the teacher does not cooperate, see whether it’s possible to observe to get a better feel for what is going on.

And don’t be concerned about the teacher trying to impress you. It will be difficult for a genuinely toxic teacher to fake it.

• Teach your child to “play the game”

If your child is not in any immediate danger and they’re stuck with a difficult teacher, try turning it into a learning experience.

It’s a part of life to deal with unpleasant people, be it annoying coworkers, backstabbing friends, narcissistic bosses, toxic in-laws, evil stepmothers, difficult parents, etc.

Teach your child how to deal with them because it may be the best thing you can do at the moment.

Remind them that even the worst teacher in the world may still teach valuable lessons.

But also, talk to the teacher about ways your child can do their best under the circumstances.

Final Thoughts

When your child faces a problem with a teacher at school, you certainly don’t want to leave it unresolved. Something must be done if that teacher is impeding a child’s academic growth or causing psychological damage.

Nevertheless, avoid overwhelming your child with your emotionally charged interactions with the teacher. Ideally, your involvement should make your child’s relationship with the teacher better, not worse.

Also, the most important relationship in these circumstances is between you and your child. Parents need to talk to their children for at least a few minutes every day, no matter how busy they are.

Talk to them about their day, what happened at school, how they feel about their friends, and how they are treated by their teachers. Engage yourself.

Children often struggle to do well not because they are unable, but because they feel like they can’t talk to anyone about their difficulties.

So let your children know that they can talk to you about anything.

Also, when your child is a victim of a bully — whether it’s a teacher or another student(s) — he or she may feel incapable of speaking up for themselves. Speak for them. Be their pillar of strength.

Protect your children from all threats — both visible and invisible — and offer them help, especially in times when they can’t or won’t ask for it.

About the Author

David Peterson is a Children’s Risks and Safety Researcher who aims to minimize all risks and hazards that affect children and provide a safe solution for their wellbeing.