Is Narcissism Contagious?

Is narcissism contagious? Psychologist Jenny Tamasi explores the topic in this fascinating article.

Is narcissism contagious? This is a tough question to answer. Like most things in behavioural science, I think it is case-specific.

The Family Environment

Many researchers believe that your environment has a lot to do with where you fall on the narcissism spectrum. When I refer to the environment, I am talking about your culture, who you grew up with, and who you surround yourself with today.

If a child grows up observing his father’s narcissistic behaviors such as cheating, scams, grandiosity, and outbursts, he may grow up to be a carbon copy of his dad.

He will treat others the exact same way because these behaviors have been modeled and normalized for him for years.

In this case, being raised by a narcissist may reinforce or regularise these dysfunctional behaviors, especially if the child sees his narcissistic parent being rewarded or not having consequences for his actions.

The Work Environment

Behaviors can be shaped and molded, and our actions are often direct responses to what is going on in our worlds. You spend a ton of time at work and the culture of where you work is likely to shape you.

If you work in a competitive industry like finance, fashion, or politics, you will probably observe some slimy smooth talkers. These are the people who are willing to compromise values or step on people to get the raise, the position, make the deal, or get their legislation pushed through.

Unfortunately, the culture of certain professions rewards narcissistic, selfish, and manipulative behaviors.

You may go into one of these professions with good values, honesty, and integrity. But in order to excel, you may feel the pressure or even the need to adopt narcissistic traits.

In these work situations, the old proverbs “If you roll around in the mud with pigs you are bound to get dirty” or “You are the company that you keep” come to mind.

Many narcissists value images and appearances, so in order to be accepted by them (and hopefully you don’t desire this acceptance!), you are going to have to, at the very least, pretend that you care about these things too.

I found myself dressing in designer labels and wearing different styles of clothes to please my narcissist and avoid him criticizing my looks. Before I started dating him, the amount of money I spent on clothes, the time I spent at the salon, and my morning make-up routine were far less than when we were together.

Again, humans throughout history have shown the ability to adapt to their environments. So if you have a narcissist in your environment, it is likely that their behaviors will rub off on you somehow.

9 Ways to Be Immune to Narcissism

So what can you do to make yourself immune to narcissism?

1. Have a strong sense of self

Know who you are, guys and gals! Take time to reflect on your values and philosophies about key components in life: money, family, friends, happiness, relationships, fairness, and honesty.

What are your views on these topics and why? When you know yourself and what you stand for, it makes it harder for the narcissist to sway you.

2. Define your boundaries

Take time to reflect on your boundaries.

What are you willing to tolerate and accept at home, work, and in your community?

More importantly, what are you NOT willing to tolerate? How can you communicate that to people? What will happen if someone crosses your boundaries?

3. Heal the Past

Do you have old wounds from childhood trauma?

Take time to tend to those, particularly verbal and emotional abuse wounds. They will definitely influence your adult relationships and behaviors.

4. Create a Positive Environment

Make an effort to surround yourself with people whose core values you admire.

You can’t pick your family and you may be stuck at a toxic job for a while.

But you can pick who you have romantic relationships with and who your friends are. Spend time with people or support organizations whose values and mission you share and can endorse.

5. Cultivate Compassion

Work on cultivating empathy and compassion for others.

Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and avoid judgments. Compassion is an antidote to narcissism.

6. Just Say No

Practice saying “No” and not caring what others think about you.

A lot of our troubles with people come from an inability to say “no.” When you’re dealing with a narcissist, it’s especially critical because they will be pushing your boundaries.

7. Don’t Obsess Over Social Media

This may seem unrelated to the topic at hand but social media plays a big role in our everyday attitudes and how we relate to other people.

Through the phenomenon of social comparison, we become more vulnerable to negative evaluations and comparisons. That makes us more susceptible to other people’s influence and manipulation.

Limit your time on social media and posting or commenting on pictures.

8. Invest in Yourself

Instead of shopping or spending money on material things, focus on investing in experiences, activities, and education.

That will make you a stronger and wiser person who isn’t easily led astray.

9. Go No Contact

Here is probably the main one: STOP SPENDING TIME WITH NARCISSISTS!

If you recognize someone in your circle as a narcissist, and you have an option to do so, stop spending time with them. Go no contact if you can.

This way you’ll protect yourself from the spread of the narcissistic “disease” and stop being their “narcissistic supply.”

So Is Narcissism Contagious?

So to go back to the original question, is narcissism contagious? I think it can be.

I also think there are many things that you can do to reduce the odds of developing toxic narcissistic traits.

If you come from a narcissistic or neglectful home, this may be more challenging for you. But it is still possible not to be a narcissist if you are willing to put in the work and take care of your emotional health.

We currently do not have a vaccine or cure for narcissism, but practicing the above can help you not to catch a severe case!

Sending you lots of love,

Jenny Tamasi